Oh man! I just ran across this today while I was typing my previous post. (I was checking the spelling of caddy wampus. I always thought it was scaddy wampus. Hmmm...) It was too good to pass up. I love Kansas and even though we don't live there anymore I still consider Tribune to be my "hometown". I did live there for 14 years after all! For all of you from Kansas...enjoy! ....Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and you can still see him from your front porch.
(Totally our neighbors!)....Except in Johnson County, a Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150 4x4 is.
....Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.
(And it gets even worse during harvest time!)....The radio buttons on a new car are all preset to country.
(I have to say I HATED country the entire time I lived in Kansas. It wasn't until I left to go to BYU and took some country dancing classes that I began to like it. Now I LOVE it and listen to it all the time! Sorry to all of my friends who had to hear me grumble and complain whenever they turned on their country music!)....You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.
....You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.
(70 mph is nothing folks! If it's not windy in Kansas you know something's brewing! Probably in for a good storm! No wonder we had to use so much hairspray! Had to keep those bangs up in that wind!)....You call that smell coming from the feedyards...Money.
(And that's the only thing that makes that smell worth it. Something you just never really get used to.)....You've had classes canceled for heat and snow in the same month.
(Dramatic weather changes...kind of like here in Texas...hmmmm)....You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
(Yes Tory, it DOES get hot in Kansas! VERY hot!)....Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
(And yes, it gets VERY cold!)....Hot water now comes out of both taps.
(I didn't know water could come out so cold until I moved to Colorado!)....Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair, Abilene to Ike's house or Boot Hill to see Miss Kitty.
(And great attractions those are! But we were fortunate. We actually did leave Kansas for every vacation we had. I know several people who never left! But if you farm you can't just pick up and leave in the summer very easily I guess.)....Your excuse for being late is the cows got out, and the boss accepts it MANY times.
....Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
(Oh man! This one's the BEST! This is what we did on a weekend in Tribune, Kansas. Everyone did the loop. Cracks Tory up!)....Even foreheads have a farmer's tan.
....You've been hit by enough tornadoes to know there is no such thing as Oz.
(We've all got at least one good tornado story to tell! But living in Kansas is the reason I still LOVE a good storm! Bring it on!)....Dust is nearly as haunting as the bogeyman.
....Everything's about 30 minutes away.
(Ask a Kansan where the next town or the nearest gas station is and they'll answer, "Oh about 30 minutes that-a-way" or point you "roughly 30 minutes due south.")
....You've been to see Santa at the the North Pole in
Colorado Springs more than once.
(Sadly we only got to go once. But...we DID get to go! Which is a miracle in and of itself. It's probably one of the most "touristy" places we ever went growing up. My Dad was not a touristy kind of guy and most of our vacations consisted of camping and backpacking and visiting every national monument along the route. Which was always fun. But the North Pole will always stand out in my mind.)....You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
(True indeed.)....You're ready to shoot the next person who asks about Toto or Dorothy.
(Come on people. Is that as original as you can get? No my name is not Dorthy, I don't have a dog named Toto, I have seen a tornado, but I don't live on the yellow brick road. Any other questions? Oh...and Kansas is located right in the middle of the United States pretty much. I can't believe how many people don't know where Kansas is! Wow!)....You have to travel 20 miles just to go to the nearest mall.
(20 miles nothing! We had to go all the way to Garden City to get some decent shopping. That was almost 2 hours each way! And if you wanted some REAL selection you had to drive to Colorado Springs or Denver. A good 3-4 hour drive each way!)....You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
....You had at least one summer job that was bucking bails or custom cutting.
(I never actually had an official job during harvest but we always had fun going on a few turns in the combine with Grandad...a REAL farmer...Tory. LOL)....You really do think Sunflowers are beautiful.
(They really are. Especially when you see an entire field full of them!)....You went to skating parties as a kid.
(Uh, didn't everyone? Hmmm...)....Your earliest driving lessons were in a field while picking up hay.
(And boy was Grandad's pickup truck hard to shift! Wow!)....You wave to all the oncoming traffic.
(That was probably the hardest thing for me to get used to after moving from Kansas. You wave to EVERYONE in Kansas. I felt so mean and stuck up when we moved. And I had to grip the steering wheel with both hands to control the urge to lift a finger and wave! Too funny!)....You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Schoenchen, Kechi, Olathe, Chautauqua and Osawatomie.
....You know that cow pies aren’t made of beef.
(But they are good for garden fertilizer and when you live next to a cow pasture as a child you are often sent out to gather them up in the wagon. At least they dry good! Ahhhh...the things we had to do. Do you hear that boys?)....There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside looking for it.
(Sure we had our tornado drills at school but many times they were for real! I remember one time when my brothers and sisters and Dad were all out riding bikes and we heard the sirens all the way out where we lived 5 miles out of town. We weren't really paying attention but when we heard that we looked up and there was a tornado right over Tribune. Dad sent us all home and got his camera and went back out to take a picture. It turned out awesome and was even used by the news station.)....Those strange lights you see at night is a farmer working late in the field – not a UFO.
(If they know a big rain or hail storm is coming, those farmers will do whatever it takes to save their crops! You just don't mess around with something you've spent months on!)....You have seen people wear bib overalls to funerals and weddings.
....You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
(We had TWO gardens. The upper garden and the lower garden. Now THAT was our summer job! Weed, weed, weed...water, water, water...pick, pick, pick.)....You know the words to "Home on the Range."
(And the state animal is the buffalo, the bird is the meadowlark, the tree is the cottonwood, and the flower is the sunflower!)....Using the elevator involves a corn or wheat truck.
(I always loved to go with Grandad when he dumped his load off at the grain elevators. So cool!)....What in the world is a vegetarian special? We don't even know what that is much less serve it at the local diner.
....You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
(We lived by the White Woman Creek. It ran right through our property. Only saw water in it once the entire 14 years we lived there.)
....You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
....You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
....You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clintons state and the river... arKANSAS.
(There's a whole list of words Kansans know how to pronounce. Most of them we didn't pick up...or use anyway...because we would get corrected at home. LOL)....The only tourists you see are on the way to
Colorado.
....You complain that you can not see Scott City...And you are in Dighton!
.... You know several people who have hit a deer.
(And most likely you've been in the car when it happens...at least once!)....It's a bottle or a can of pop here. Soda is something you bake a cake with.
....The phrase "I'm going to 'The Lake' this weekend" only means one thing.
(Oh yes! THE lake! Does it even have a name? LOL)....You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.
....You know a storm is coming hours before it gets there because you can watch it come in.
(One of the best parts of Kansas. The view goes for miles! They also have the best sunsets because it's like you're surrounded by it. Nothing to block it for miles and miles.)....You think the opening day of pheasant season and deer season is a national holiday.
....You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
(And that's just the normal routes. We won't get into how long our bus rides were when we traveled to play other teams in sports! Settle in a for a good, long ride!)....You know that Mount Sunflower, although not a true mountain, is the highest point in the state of Kansas.
....You end sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
....You see a car running in the parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
...Finally, you are 100% Kansan if you have ever had this conversation:
~You wanna Coke?
~Yeah.
~What kind?
~Dr. Pepper.
....You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Kansas.
Last week Austin was one of four chosen out of his class to help with the school's morning announcements today. He is so excited! His part is to do the Texas Pledge. He's been practicing for the last four days. Pretty cute. Here's his part:
